just angry

bleh. angry.

i have like 183k likes..... YIKES!

karma

Karma.

When I die, my body will eventually, become part of the earth. Given enough time, my corpse may be the roots for a tree. Birds will be on my branches, squirrels will play at my base. Or maybe just a commercial store will be built over the cemetery I lie in.

…

This would be easier if I didn’t give a f*ck ;)

But the world is all related. It all connects. If I say hello to a squirrel today, in a playful happy mood, even if the squirrel may not understand what I said to him, other people seen me say hello to the squirrel. The birds heard me say hello. The grass and plants and trees heard me say hello to the squirrel, even if they don’t understand what I said, does NOT mean they didn’t hear it! This is the hard part to explain, but that’s part of Karma! Kind of like “what goes around, comes around”

--this is sort of a work in progress, meaning i will probably edit this!

[added by nicholas wilde on his 33rd birhday i might add :) hi me! .. umm. april 11th, 2013 at 10:51pm central standard time:]
i'm going to work on thnis, i'm really going to work on this... bu ti just cant decide what to make them
do... umm.. ... i want my story to prove a point, i want it to have value.. anyways,.. *Still working finishing this for those stalkers out there ;]

[:end added]

this is only the very beginning of a short story i'm writing. i'd write more, but i want to allow myself
to sleep, and unless i post something, no matter how small, i wont be able to sleep. :)



Untitled short story by Nicholas P. Wilde

© 2013 Nicholas P. Wilde

I awoke from my passenger side nap-time to that familiar sound of loose gravel under car tires. You know the sound; it’s the one you heard on your own family vacations as a child when your dad would pull into a gas station or rest area for a break from the road. Though, this was not a family vacation.

The sun was just out of view over the horizon lighting up the area enough to see in a light blue’ish tint as night was turning into morning and we pulled into the old houses driveway.

Since we were at our destination after days of driving I felt I should say something to my partner, but me nor him were in the mood to talk. It’s not like today was going to be one of the finer points of either of our lives and we both knew it.

Ron, that’s his name by the way. Ron is my partner. I guess I would call him my friend, but whenever we get together, it seems more business than pleasure.

“I’m gonna head inside and get some rest, I’m exhausted” – he said as we parked the car

I didn’t blame him. I skipped my last turn at driving deciding to get high instead. Ron said he didn’t mind driving the extra shift, but I guess it would have been polite of me to at least have opened the window a little while holding* an open plastic bag of paint spewing out fumes.

[added by nick:]
i am going to work on this story, i really am, but just not now. too much is going on in my life right *now* :)
-Nick
[:added]
[added by me, nick, 7.19.2013 1:52am:]
i dont know if i will ever finish this story. i really did want to, but i dont know anymore.
[:added]

just a song i like

kind of important, but not really. kind of for lazy people haha!

hehe. i like the title i made for this post! anyways, i'm messing around with a wordpress blog located at my domain http://craqhouze.org/ ... like most things i do, it could be here today and gone tomorrow, but i could be really freaking cool on that odd tuesday when nobody else is looking too! so be sure to check it out =)

-Nick

just thinking out loud.

i'm tired of all my computer games i play, well, i mostly only play world of warcraft, but its boring now.
diablo3 is ok, its even kind of good. but with the REAL money auction houses, that kind of takes the
fun out of it. it's no longer just a game when real money can be made by playing it.

i dont want to do much of anything. everything seems boring and dull lately. but if i had to choose something,
i would pick computer progamming. i used to be good at it - but that was over 10 years ago now and i lost
most of my abilities.

i'm thinking of teaching myself PHP or Python - but i still *love* C++ and visual basic, so i really don't know.

i have kind of a cool idea for C++ (MAYBE php).... well, i love the way objects are handled in C++
so one of my more entertaining (to me) ideas for c++ is program a simulator, kind of like Sim City, but it's
command line, and instead of playing it, i would just let the city evolve by itself. and for entertainment, maybe
i could just be  pedestrian on the city streets, like typing simple command line things like "north" to go north
or "query person" (if there is a person in the current location in the city i am in) to get info about the person,
like if they are a content person, who they are married to, where they work. etc.

i doubt anyone would enjoy the simulator, even myself would only enjoy it a very little bit; but the end
product, is not what i'm after here. i just really want to get my hands on some heavy duty C++ objects.

as for php? i dunno, i'm tired of having an online life, so why make a webpage? plus, i'm scared poopless
someone would hack my webpage and that would set of my paranoias BIG time. i'd probably have a heart
attack haha :)

another thing i have thought of, is programming DOS viruses. the reason for DOS is because almost
nobody uses DOS anymore, so my viruses wouldnt be a threat in the real world. nobody would get
infected with them so i wouldn't have to feel guilty.

-----

i'm thinking of typing another "what i believe" post tonight,  but for now, i'm going to at least open up my
C++ tools and probably stare at the screen for a while =)

honest honest honestly?

really? you think i -want- to go to hell? fuck no. but this america of ours inbeds sin into everyday life!
i dislike getting right to the point in this specific post, but currency, not just us currency, but ALL currency
was a HUGE mistake by the human species. of course, there ARE good people who use money properly.
but making it possible to deceive and everything else so easily with just a sheet of paper, was a *MAJOR* uckfup by the human species. if i COULD appologize, i WOULD, but i CAN'T. you don't have to understand me. and i dont care if you do or don't. but if you feel it in your balls, trust me, your F*CKED.
[added: nevermind. but serious. the world is really fucked up and we should have handled things a LOT better through history]

activism/volunteering/amnesty

i have promised in the past to volunteer for a non-profit orginization when i found an apartment to live in. well i am in that apartment now. i have just looked a little bit into volunteering for Amnesty. i have to look more, but i believe right now, i can not do this, though i may write to them and ask if i can help some other way than the jobs they offer. however, i AM going to keep helping them without it being official. i am on their mailing list and i go to their webpage to read updates. so far, i have written about 6 letters to support their goals. like letters to officials to help people be released when they are unfairly imprisoned, letters to the imprisoned people themselves to show support. in short, i AM volunteering my time, it's just not official. and i'm going to keep doing this. i'm not donating as much time as i would like to be doing, but with all my mental health issues acting up lately, things are difficult. i just want to point it out though, that i basically AM volunteering! i AM going to do more, and for now, at this time, i am doing as much as i can. also, not for amnesty, but as my own contribution to help people, i have been doing my reports on Derek Williams. i have no written somewhere around 4 or 5 blog posts about the case in hopes of spreading awareness, but also just to help my own self be more active and educate myself about the world i live in. -Nick [added: UGH! i dont get why this formats so bad, but it gets my points across, even if it is a bit wierd to read.]