just thinking out loud.

i'm tired of all my computer games i play, well, i mostly only play world of warcraft, but its boring now.
diablo3 is ok, its even kind of good. but with the REAL money auction houses, that kind of takes the
fun out of it. it's no longer just a game when real money can be made by playing it.

i dont want to do much of anything. everything seems boring and dull lately. but if i had to choose something,
i would pick computer progamming. i used to be good at it - but that was over 10 years ago now and i lost
most of my abilities.

i'm thinking of teaching myself PHP or Python - but i still *love* C++ and visual basic, so i really don't know.

i have kind of a cool idea for C++ (MAYBE php).... well, i love the way objects are handled in C++
so one of my more entertaining (to me) ideas for c++ is program a simulator, kind of like Sim City, but it's
command line, and instead of playing it, i would just let the city evolve by itself. and for entertainment, maybe
i could just be  pedestrian on the city streets, like typing simple command line things like "north" to go north
or "query person" (if there is a person in the current location in the city i am in) to get info about the person,
like if they are a content person, who they are married to, where they work. etc.

i doubt anyone would enjoy the simulator, even myself would only enjoy it a very little bit; but the end
product, is not what i'm after here. i just really want to get my hands on some heavy duty C++ objects.

as for php? i dunno, i'm tired of having an online life, so why make a webpage? plus, i'm scared poopless
someone would hack my webpage and that would set of my paranoias BIG time. i'd probably have a heart
attack haha :)

another thing i have thought of, is programming DOS viruses. the reason for DOS is because almost
nobody uses DOS anymore, so my viruses wouldnt be a threat in the real world. nobody would get
infected with them so i wouldn't have to feel guilty.

-----

i'm thinking of typing another "what i believe" post tonight,  but for now, i'm going to at least open up my
C++ tools and probably stare at the screen for a while =)

honest honest honestly?

really? you think i -want- to go to hell? fuck no. but this america of ours inbeds sin into everyday life!
i dislike getting right to the point in this specific post, but currency, not just us currency, but ALL currency
was a HUGE mistake by the human species. of course, there ARE good people who use money properly.
but making it possible to deceive and everything else so easily with just a sheet of paper, was a *MAJOR* uckfup by the human species. if i COULD appologize, i WOULD, but i CAN'T. you don't have to understand me. and i dont care if you do or don't. but if you feel it in your balls, trust me, your F*CKED.
[added: nevermind. but serious. the world is really fucked up and we should have handled things a LOT better through history]

activism/volunteering/amnesty

i have promised in the past to volunteer for a non-profit orginization when i found an apartment to live in. well i am in that apartment now. i have just looked a little bit into volunteering for Amnesty. i have to look more, but i believe right now, i can not do this, though i may write to them and ask if i can help some other way than the jobs they offer. however, i AM going to keep helping them without it being official. i am on their mailing list and i go to their webpage to read updates. so far, i have written about 6 letters to support their goals. like letters to officials to help people be released when they are unfairly imprisoned, letters to the imprisoned people themselves to show support. in short, i AM volunteering my time, it's just not official. and i'm going to keep doing this. i'm not donating as much time as i would like to be doing, but with all my mental health issues acting up lately, things are difficult. i just want to point it out though, that i basically AM volunteering! i AM going to do more, and for now, at this time, i am doing as much as i can. also, not for amnesty, but as my own contribution to help people, i have been doing my reports on Derek Williams. i have no written somewhere around 4 or 5 blog posts about the case in hopes of spreading awareness, but also just to help my own self be more active and educate myself about the world i live in. -Nick [added: UGH! i dont get why this formats so bad, but it gets my points across, even if it is a bit wierd to read.]